Apple Slab PIe

From Smitten Kitchen

CRUST:

• 3 3/4 (470 grams) cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons table salt
• 3 sticks (340 grams) unsalted butter, very cold
• 3/4 cup very cold water

FILLING:

• 3 1/2 to 4 pounds apples, peeled, cored and chopped into approximately 1/2-inch chunks (about 8 cups)
• Squeeze of lemon juice
• 2/3 to 3/4 cup sugar (depending on how sweet you like your pies)
• 3 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1/8 teaspoon table salt

TOP:

• 2 tablespoons heavy cream or one egg, beaten with 1 tablespoon of water

Make pie crust: Whisk together flour, sugar and salt in the bottom of a large, wide-ish bowl. Using a pastry blender, two forks, or your fingertips, work the butter into the flour until the biggest pieces of butter are the size of tiny peas. (You’ll want to chop your butter into small bits first, unless you’re using a very strong pastry blender in which case you can throw the sticks in whole, as I do.) Gently stir in the water with a rubber spatula, mixing it until a craggy mass forms. Get your hands in the bowl and knead it just two or three times to form a ball. Divide dough roughly in half (it’s okay if one is slightly larger). Wrap each half in plastic wrap and flatten a bit, like a disc. Chill in fridge for at least an hour or up to two days or slip plastic-wrapped dough into a freezer bag and freeze for up to 1 to 2 months (longer if you trust your freezer more than I do). To defrost, leave in fridge for 1 day. [Still freaked out about making your own pie dough? Read this for a ton of additional tips and details.]

Heat oven oven to 375 degrees F. Line bottom of 10x15x1-inch baking sheet or jellyroll pan with parchment paper.

Prepare filling: In a large bowl, toss apples with lemon juice until coated. Top with remaining filling ingredients and stir to evenly coat.

Assemble pie: On a lightly floured surface, roll one of your dough halves (the larger one, if you have two different sizes) into an 18-by-13-inch rectangle. This can be kind of a pain because it is so large. Do your best to work quickly, keeping the dough as cold as possible and using enough flour that it doesn’t stick to the counter. Transfer to your prepared baking sheet and gently drape some of the overhang in so that the dough fills out the inner edges and corners. Some pastry will still hang over the sides of the pan; trim this to 3/4-inch.

Pour apple mixture over and spread evenly.

Roll the second of your dough halves (the smaller one, if they were different sizes) into a 16-by-11-inch rectangle. Drape over filling and fold the bottom crust’s overhang over the edges sealing them together. Cut small slits to act as vents all over lid. Brush lid heavy cream or egg wash. Bake until crust is golden and filling is bubbling, 40 to 45 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack until just warm to the touch, about 45 minutes.

In a medium bowl, stir together confectioners’ sugar and liquid of your choice until a pourable glaze consistency is reached. Use a spoon to drizzle over top. Serve slab pie in squares or rectangles, warm or at room temperature.

It keeps at room temperature for at least three days.

Sweet Potato Chickpea Wrap

From Thug Kitchen

Makes 4

• 2 medium sweet potatoes, about 2 pounds
• 1 medium onion, sliced
• 3 cups cooked chickpeas or 2-15 ounce cans
• 1 medium apple
• 2 teaspoons olive oil
• 2 tablespoons water or broth
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 2 teaspoons tamari or soy sauce
• 1 ½ teaspoons smoked paprika
• ¾ teaspoon dried thyme
• cayenne pepper to taste
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 teaspoons water
• pinch of salt
• tortillas (any kind you like, I don’t give a shit)

Chop up the sweet potatoes into pieces about the size of a quarter. I keep the skin on them because I’m lazy as fuck but if you can’t hang, skin them sons of bitches. Place them in a steamer basket over a couple of inches of water on the stove and steam for about 15 minutes or until you can easily stab those fuckers with a fork. Turn off the heat and keep them covered.

While the potatoes are steaming, slice the onion into strips. Warm up the 2 teaspoons of oil in a large skillet or wok over a medium-low heat and add the onions. Cook them until they start to brown, about 8 minutes. Mix together the water, lemon juice, and tamari in a small glass. Add the chickpeas to the onions, mix well, and then add that small glass of liquid you just fucking made. Cook for a minute or two until most of the liquid as evaporated. Add the herbs and spices and cook that shit for another minute. Turn off the heat.

Put the steamed sweet potatoes in a large bowl and add the remaining oil, water, and salt. Gently mash. I usually keep it chunky because well, again, I’m lazy as fuck. So when you are done with the sweet potatoes, cut up the apple into little sticks. You can squeeze a little lemon juice on those bastards so they don’t brown. Now you are ready to wrap all that shit up. Smear some of the sweet potatoes on the tortilla, add the cooked chickpeas and onions, spinach or whatever greens you got, and some of the chopped up apple. Trust me on this shit. The apple adds a delicious fucking crunch. You could even add hummus to this motherfucker if you wanted. There are no rules in the wrap game. Wrap it up and enjoy. Don’t have tortillas for a wrap? You could throw all of this in a bowl with some rice or quinoa and go to town. Use what you got.

Frico Grilled Cheese Sandwich

From Smitten Kitchen

Yield: 1 sandwich. Scale up to share.

• 2 slices bread of your choice
• 2 teaspoons butter, salted or unsalted
• 1/2 cup (2 ounces) coarsely grated cheddar

I like a hearty country wheat bread here, not too thickly sliced or it’s hard for the cheese inside to melt. You may more or less cheese depending on the size of your bread slices, and your tastes.

Spread butter on one side of each slice of bread, the one that will be on the outside of the sandwich. Scatter all but 2 tablespoons cheese unbuttered side of one slice. Top with second slice, so that the buttered side faces out. Heat skillet over low-to-moderate heat. (I like to use a well-seasoned cast iron frying pan here.) Sprinkle 1 tablespoon cheese roughly in center of skillet. Place sandwich on top. Cook sandwich until golden underneath and cheese browns and crisps, about 2 to 4 minutes. Carefully lift melted (frico-ed) cheese and bread onto spatula, sprinkle remaining spoonful of cheese back in skillet, then flip sandwich over on top of it. Cook on second side until golden and crisp as well, pressing down on it with the spatula to encourage it to all come together.

Transfer to a plate, cut in half if desired, and dig in.

Alternate riffs on the classic: Are you a purist or do you like to put other things on your grilled cheese? I’m a sucker for sweet and sour red onions with a baby Swiss or gruyere cheese (this recipe in the book). But when I’m using classic cheddar, I either like a thin slice of tomato inside my sandwich, or sometimes, like the day I made these, the thinnest schmear of smooth Dijon and a dash of onion powder.

My Notes: Well, this didn't quite work out because the cheese stuck to the pan in the most awful way. The result, although tasty, was not pretty. I think in addition to buttering the bread, you need a dollop of butter in the pan too. Should also help to brown the cheese.

MXF

Spiked Citrus Tea

From Thug Kitchen

• 1 gallon of water
• 4 black tea bags
• 4 white tea bags (if you find white tea with ginger, lemon, and orange flavors in it, that would be legit)
• ¼ - ½ cup maple syrup (this shit can be expensive so feel free to replace it with agave or honey)
• 2 ½ cups whiskey (optional, but who are you kidding)
• ½ cup orange juice
• 1/3 cup lemon juice

Heat the water is a big pot on the stove until you see bubbles forming on the bottom. No need to boil that shit. Add the tea bags and let them chill out in the hot water for about 5 minutes. Pull the bags out and add the ¼ cup maple syrup, the whiskey, and citrus juices. Stir and taste that motherfucker. If you like it a little sweeter, add more syrup. Let the tea cool in the fridge until you’re damn well ready. Serve this shit with ice and slices of oranges and lemons because then it looks classy as fuck.

Hawaiian-style Sesame Cabbage Slaw

From Saveur

• 1 large head green cabbage, shredded into 1/4-inch ribbons
• 6-8 scallions, white and green parts, sliced thin (about 2 cups)
• 1/4 cup mirin
• 1/4 cup rice vinegar
• 2 tbs. sugar
• 1/2 tbs. kosher salt
• 1/2 tsp. white pepper
• 1/4 cup sesame oil
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 1/4 cup toasted sesame seeds
• 1/4 cup black sesame seeds
• 1 package instant ramen noodles, crushed lightly (save the seasoning packet for another use, or discard)

In a large bowl, combine the cabbage and scallions. In a medium bowl, whisk together mirin, vinegar, sugar, salt, and white pepper. Combine the sesame and vegetable oils in a separate vessel and slowly add into mirin mixture, whisking steadily, until all the oil is added and the dressing has emulsified. Add vinaigrette to the bowl of cabbage and scallions, top with sesame seeds and crushed ramen noodles. Toss to combine and serve immediately.

Pickled Vegetable Slaw

From Smitten Kitchen

I used a mixture of radishes, red, orange and yellow bell peppers, carrots, fresh sugar snaps and kirby cucumbers, but you can use any firm, crunchy vegetable you think would pickle well here. The only thing I don’t think I’d use again were the red radishes, because their color leaked all over, pink-pickling the other vegetables, though of course they all tasted just fine. You might note I am missing the most important ingredient in this so-called slaw, the cabbage. Guys, I made this in the chaotic two days before our two-week vacation and completely forgot. Turns out, it’s fantastic with or without cabbage, though feel free to add some green/white cabbage to your 4 cups of vegetables.

These are refrigerator pickles; no canning/vacuum seals/sterilized jars needed. You simply keep them in the fridge, where they will last for up to a month.

PICKLING MIXTURE

• 1 cup distilled white vinegar
• 4 tablespoons sugar
• 2 tablespoons Kosher salt
• 2 tablespoons yellow mustard seeds
• 1 cup cold water

SLAW MIXTURE

• 4 to 5 cups mixed slivered or julienned firm, raw vegetables
• Optional: Few slivers of jalapeno

Heat vinegar, sugar, salt and mustard seeds to a simmer in a small, non-reactive pot over moderate heat, stirring only until sugar and salt dissolve. Stir in water, which should bring the mixture’s temperature down significantly. Let cool to lukewarm.

Divide vegetables between jars. (I used two 3/4 liter jars.) Pour vinegar mixture over vegetables and refrigerate until needed. You’ll find the vegetables to be lightly pickled within an hour, and deliciously pickled within a day. They will get slightly more pickled as they sit, but the change shouldn't be too dramatic from the 24 hour level.

Eat with/on sandwiches, aside grilled food and pack it along for picnics — it goes with almost anything. Then make more, because this stuff is habit-forming.

Do ahead: Mine have kept in the fridge for a month without any change in taste or appearance. Updated to add (thanks, Erika!) that you’ll want to make sure that your vegetables are submerged in the brine for them to keep this long.

Apple and Herb Stuffing for All Seasons

Smitten Kitchen

• 6 cups torn chunks French, sourdough or country loaf, torn into bits (I use 2 7-ounce demi-baguettes)
• 5 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 large Spanish or sweet onion, chopped small
• 1 large or 2 small stalks celery, diced small
• 1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
• 1/2 teaspoon table salt, plus more to taste
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 1 large or 2 small firm, tart tart apples, such as Granny Smith, peeled, cored and diced small
• 1/4 cup roughly chopped flat-leaf parsley
• 3 sage leaves, minced
• 1/2 to 1 cup cup turkey, chicken or vegetable stock or broth
• 1 large egg

Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 350°F. Spread bread cubes in single layer on large rimmed baking sheet. Bake until pale golden, stirring occasionally, 10 to 15 minutes. Let cool in pan while you prepare the other ingredients.

Generously butter a 2-quart baking dish (a 9×5-inch loaf, 8- or 9-inch square dish, etc.) with 1 tablespoon butter. Melt remaining 4 tablespoons butter in large skillet over medium heat. Add onion, thyme, salt and lots of freshly ground black pepper and cook for 2 minutes, until becoming translucent. Add celery and cook for 2 more minutes. Add apple and saute until a bit tender, 3 to 4 minutes more.

Place bread in large mixing bowl. Scrape contents of skillet on top. Whisk egg and 1/2 cup broth or stock together and pour over. Stir in parsley and sage. Spoon into prepared pan. If mixture looks a little dry, pour remaining 1/2 cup broth over it. [This is a good place to pause, if needed. Nothing bad comes of the stuffing absorbing the liquids for longer.] Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, until brown on top and no liquid appears if you insert a knife vertically into the center of the stuffing pan and turn it slightly. Serve immediately, or reheat as needed.

Variations:
Apple, Herb and Cornbread Stuffing: You can replace two cups of the bread chunks with chunks of cornbread. This recipe is a good basic one for croutons.

Apple, Herb and Sausage Stuffing: Brown a half-pound of breakfast sausage, cut into 1/2-inch coins, in the pan, before adding the apple. Cook it until it’s just cooked through (it will have lots of time to finish in the oven). Remove it from the pan and add the apples and remaining ingredients as directed above.

Breakfast Stuffing: Bake this stuffing in a buttered loaf pan. Let it cool. Slice it off with a serrated knife with a gentle sawing motion (it’s going to break up a bit; it doesn’t matter) and toast each slice until a little brown on the cut sides. Top with a fried egg.